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Thursday, July 17, 2014

50 Ways To Leave A Bad Romance

I'm Scottish but I don't have a vote in the upcoming independence referendum because I don't live there, so when I heard a group had registered itself with the Electoral Commission as a participant in the referendum saying it was going to "give a voice to everyone who doesn't have a vote in the decision to break up Britain", I was interested.

But it turns out they didn't mean "everyone" who doesn't have a vote.  See, they're called, "Let's Stay Together" so that's a wee clue about whose voices they want to promote, and they just made a video to reinforce their message.  For reasons best known to themselves, they don't make it possible for me to embed their video here for you to see.  But don't go yet, in the meantime, I'll describe it for you... 

A group of people looking uncomfortable write messages on placards pleading with Scotland not to leave the UK, because they "love" Scotland, and don't want Scotland to go.  And behind all of this, Queen's "You're My Best Friend" is playing.

Along with the catchy music video on their website, is a longer version where the celebs go into more detail about their feelings.  Well, I use the word, "detail" loosely.  Let's just say, they speak more about their feelings - content, analysis, or actual detail is thin.

Sometimes it's just slightly embarrassing, sometimes it verges on the excruciating.  None of them mentions the political issues involved.  None of them refer to the reasons for the independence referendum.  They're all just pleading with Scotland not to go.  It was sad.  Sad.

Honestly, I haven't felt so uncomfortable since I broke up with Davey just after I left school to go to university.  Davey, if you're out there, I'm sorry.  But we really weren't right for each other, I'm sure you see that now, our lives were going along different tracks, it was no-one's fault.

And that's the problem.  In the moment, the one that's being broken up with, always finds it hard to see beyond their own incomprehension and hurt.

And that's natural, it's their perspective.  There's no getting around it, their perspective is - well, it's all about them.  

The "Let's Stay Together" campaign is acting like a husband who has been asked for a divorce.  He's not trying to see it from his wife's perspective.  In fact, if he just stopped and thought about it for a minute, he might see that maybe it's because he's always made it about him and about what he wants, that she wants to leave.

But she isn't trying to hurt him, she just wants what's best for her, after years of following a way of life ruled by someone who didn't have her best interests or wishes at heart.

She doesn't hate him, they've just grown apart.  And who says she doesn't still want to be friends?  But somehow you just know that if she doesn't stay then they can't be friends because he's going to get all sulky and try to sabotage her departure and make her pay for her impertinence, in some passive-aggressive way.

But what can they do?  It's obvious that he wants different things, he has different political beliefs, different aspirations. 

She's tired of being forced to live the life he wants for her.  She needs to be free to live her own life and fulfill her own ambitions. 

Hang on, if only there was a video of a Queen song that could demonstrate this, oh wait a minute...
(if the video doesn't appear you can find it here )

Here's the thing - all this wife wants is an amicable separation. 

If her husband really loved her, he would let her go and try to stay friends with her.

And if she does have the courage to pack her bags and follow her dreams, let's hope he doesn't become bitter and vengeful and try to punish her for it.

Mind you there are some women who might quite enjoy that...
(video here )

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